Special sequences for those searching

Aside

Apparently, some people want the MASPERGERS*<->MLARGESPER* sequence back after I removed it following a period of dabbling in existentialist philosophy, which is a torture I wish only on those peers performing grave offenses against something I cherished. In any case, here they are:

AATGGCAAGC CCTGAAAGAG GAGAACGTTC GTAG

Keep the fact that you cannot just dump it into a standard DNA translation engine and expect to see the pattern in mind. You have to translate it biologically, meaning that you start at the ATG and end and the TAR. Translated forwards and assuming a 100% translation by those constraints (and ignoring things like friction and potential jamming), you will get MASPERGERS*. Translated backwards, you will get MLARGESPER*, which is very close to an anagram. Finding out that no one else had done this example was almost unbelievable (and you may see the initial posts at WrongPlanet, the other WP, as a vanished signature).

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Sensory Issues

From a brief questionnaire about sensory processing issues, I quickly observed that some of my ideas about myself and the apparent mildness of my condition were wrong. A cursory look at the results reveals that it is only mild in the vestibular, auditory (questionably), and proprioceptive areas. However, knowing this does help because I still catch myself stimming and want to switch to less noticeable stereotypies (if it is possible), but I do not know how to change specific ones. I can probably begin with the tactile stereotypies.

Apparently, I rotate anything I hold over and over when it seems appropriate in an autistic way. The stereotypy I noticed, however, was twirling my watch around the hand several times. Since these two (unless the others are hiding something from me) are acceptable enough, I can probably leave them alone. However, the stereotypy of just touching the thumb to every finger in order seems to be subtler, so I will try to use this.

Vision seems more difficult, but I unintentionally create stimulating patterns when I arrange data in tables. This seems to be easy enough, and I think I have been successful in keeping flapping restricted to my room, so this should not be much of a problem. Flicking fingers near the eyes seems to be a less tiring and more interesting one. I wonder if I should just carry something with a pleasing pattern and texture to satisfy this. Maybe if they made stress spheres (Ball? Sphere? Globe?) with linear grooves, I would be figuratively able to kill two birds with one stone.

As far as balance is concerned, I still catch myself rocking forward and backward or shifting weight left and right and generally seem to be tilted about 5 degrees forward. This will be harder to correct, but I will think of something, and it has not drawn any comment yet.

In the auditory area, I am a bit too sensitive, and I feel pain while others can continue conversations in loud situations. I do not think I stim, but I am capable of, “humming,” or, “buzzing,” at around 10 kHz (definitely at a frequency the average 30-year old cannot hear). I wonder if this counts, because this is intentional and conscious, but I experience a certain feeling when I do it, so it could be a better-regulated stereotypy of some sort. I wonder if many on the spectrum can control stereotypies in similar cases.

I recall walking/running centimeters away from walls throughout high school, but this has diminished as I became more aware of it (and carried increasingly and consequently decreasingly heavy loads, thus having more momentum, thus having more energy, and thus experiencing a stronger force when stopped). This was when I still had the mental concept of autism as something that affected other students that never seemed to grow up mentally. In hindsight, my sense of right and wrong, justice, and independence has experienced very little change in the last few years, with most of it ending as only rationalizations. However, proprioception is mostly fine (with poor handwriting but good print and frequently being clumsy).

On smell and taste, although I do seem to be overly sensitive about both (during allergy-free days), I do not think I stim with them because anytime I try to smell something, it is out of a conscious, intentional desire to know the smell. Unlike the, “buzzing,” I do not derive much, if any, emotion from this, and it seems to be little more than an instinct of some kind. I do seem to like smells most hate (disinfectants, gloves, mothballs, etc), but this is somewhat irrelevant.

In the behavioral, learning, and social issues, I seem to be worse than most. I was able to answer, “No,” only to, “Doesn’t understand concept of personal space,” and, “Frequently acts out or tantrums.” I understand personal space, and mine has a radius of approximately two yards. When I rush, I literally go out of my way to avoid people and walk through the midpoints when it is expedient to do so. On tantrums, I am usually able to calm myself by applying nail pressure to the second segment of the index finger. When I cannot do so, I leave, because most people able to anger me are the ruder ones in the first place.

Revenio!

After a long wait of resolving (annoying in hindsight) special interests, I felt it would be appropriate to write the first post specifically concerning Asperger’s Syndrome. I will begin with what it is NOT and common misconceptions (focused on the best and most subjective primary source).

  • Interesting special interest (to the NT): Even most of us with AS do not consider models of sandwich makers too interesting or lucrative.
  • Something to be cured: Most of us would never want the advantages removed. For me, I think I would prefer to be, “lower-functioning,” if that meant I could obtain more knowledge.
  • Internet troll: Many of the, “aspies,” you see on non-specialized forums are nothing more than trolls that think having AS automatically allows for consideration as a genius. The reason this one happens so frequently is the actual condition of M√ľnchausen’s Syndrome, which does tend to result in trolls.
  • Contagious: I honestly wonder how this spread, but to the NT’s (and socially well-adjusted people on the spectrum) reading this, there is a behavior known as mirroring. It involves copying the other person in the conversation in movement, articulation, tone, and the other social things those of us with AS generally struggle to use.
  • Caused by vaccines: We now realize that the person advocating this was in a position to obtain plenty of money. There is no definitive link between vaccines and the ASD’s, and the greater risk of a painful death by one of the diseases prevented by the vaccine greatly outweighs the ASD in many of the cases.
  • Alibi for rudeness: For me, at least, I want everyone interacting with me to tell me directly (and cleanly) about whatever wrongs I fail to see. I know I frequently state things with unfortunate implications without any of the intentions, and this is why I need outside assistance.
  • Physically visible: Although ASD’s have been correlated with youthful appearances (43.2%, but that was a somewhat subjective test), they do not necessarily provide that. Of course, it should be noted that we tend to express fewer facial expressions and that can be a good hint.
  • Sociopathy: A sociopath is antisocial, most with AS are asocial. There is a difference, and for me, it simply means wanting a nice, quiet setting where I do not have to interact with others. A sociopath, on the other hand, would not mind interacting with others if it brought personal gain.
  • Psychopathy: Those of us with AS tend to lack the comparatively excellent social skills and deceptiveness psychopaths have. In fact, that is probably why most assume that we..
  • ..Tell only the truth: Not all Aspergians have the same compulsions to speak the truth. It is only a pattern, and it probably decreases as, “normal,” is approached because many of the emotional responses NT’s provide can be understood as lies, can they not?
  • Cannot understand humor/sarcasm: A lot of us can, given enough time, understand humor or sarcasm. The only problem is that those who use sarcasm or irony for selfish reasons tend to keep the Aspergian occupied with processing the next lines of dialogue, or so I think from personal experience. Also, note that what those of us with AS consider funny can be highly idiosyncratic. Many of the things I consider funny fly over or into people’s heads.
  • All the same: If anything, the special interests and decreased social contact probably cause us to be more divergent (and therefore diverse).
  • Always introverted: Being extroverted does not necessarily mean being good at being extroverted. It just means a higher propensity to make contact.
  • Poor at verbal school subjects: On the contrary, we can do well at the rote components of language classes and can have a high writing skill:conversational skill ratio.
  • Excellent at mathematics: Frequently, those with AS suffer at mathematics, and most with ASD’s are not calendar experts. It would be a nice special interest….
  • Very severe: AS is little more than classical Autistic Disorder without the language delay. My case is a little dubious because of the timing being close to the border, but I seem to exhibit more traits of those without language delays than those with language delays. However, many of us develop coping mechanisms or resolve certain symptoms completely.
  • Not severe: Personally, I doubt most NT adolescents realize what internal conflict or having to juggle so many social behaviors is like. This is probably because of the vague criteria of the DSM-IV allowing for more people to read themselves in the criteria. Maybe I will post a detailed explanation for the criteria later.
  • No empathy: As implicitly stated before, we do have empathy, but it is generally difficult to express it verbally or physically. Perhaps this is why alexithymia is common among those with AS. We can also, “pick up,” emotions from others, but this generally happens after they have intensified to somewhat dangerous levels.